We knew having kids would be expensive, but who knew these little rascals had the power to ruin their parents’ prized possessions, and dredge up even higher costs in the process? Here are the stories of parents on Reddit who’ve experienced the gut-wrenching loss of a beloved item, at the tiny hands of their offspring – try not to let them give you nightmares!
“I was on a Skype call introducing my dad to his newborn granddaughter and she throws up all over the new MacBook Pro.
I cleaned it up and kept it off for a few days. I thought it was fried for sure, but it turned on. The backlight was patchy and smelled funny for some time, [so I] renamed it to Mac n Cheese. Surprisingly, it still works seven years later.”
“20 years ago, my friend’s young son was making puzzles and he cut up his father’s original 1977 Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope poster. His father told me he had to shrug it off because his son didn’t know any better. Best punishment served cold – the son is now a young Star Wars fan and he would do anything to own that poster which he had ruined.
“My eye. When she was six months old, she was sitting in my lap playing with some toy. She suddenly got really excited and flailed her arms up. Her fingernail dug deep into my eye.
Three surgeries later, I still can barely see out of that eye, and it’s visibly screwed up too (not egregiously, but if you look me in the eye, my pupil is clearly more oval than circle).
And needless to say, I won’t be telling her about this until she’s an adult at the earliest, and even then only if she asks.”
“My father-in-law is missing one of his front teeth. I’d never bothered to ask why it’s missing since he is a salty cattle rancher and truck driver (real stoic… he and Ron Swanson would be instant BFFs). My husband told me that when one of his nephews was an infant, he did the slamming-their-head-back-thing that babies do and knocked out his tooth.”
“When I was a kid, my mother lost her diamond wedding ring. She was devastated. A decade later, while cleaning things up for a garage sale, we found it jammed in the toilet of my Barbie house.”
“We had a 90g salt water tank [full of coral and fish] that easily cost upwards of $3,000. I went to work a night shift and my son unplugged everything that night while my husband wasn’t noticing. Everything was dead in the morning, and the house smelled lovely…”
“My son watched me spray Windex on the windows one day while cleaning. When I put the spray bottle down, he picked it up and soaked two flat screen TVs with it. It got sprayed so much that some liquid even seeped in behind the screen and ran down the insides. The TVs still work, but are permanently distorted with funny vertical lines.”
“My kid broke my TV last week, and I’m currently searching for my Fitbit that he has hidden. He took it from the charger while I was cooking him breakfast.
Edit: The Fitbit has been found.
Edited again to update: The Fitbit was in the cold air return vent behind the couch.”
“My dad, a realtor, once sold a house and a condo to a guy whose daughter had burned down their old house. The house was for the family, and the condo was for the daughter. I asked my dad how it had happened and he said the guy just told him, ‘She’s always been like that.’”
“My son turned a one-year-old car into a submarine. We get flooding here every time it rains so locals know to stay out of puddles. Except my son, I guess. I’ve asked him many times what his comfort level driving through water is. Mine is two or three inches. He somehow managed to flood the car to the middle of the steering wheel.”
“I had a $3,000 TV. It was 60 inch, 3D LED LCD – a good few years back. When I got divorced, I got to take it, and it was probably the most expensive thing that I owned.
My four-year-old daughter decided one day that it needed to be watered like a flower. She poured a big cup of water directly onto the screen. To this day, I’m not sure what compelled her to do it, but she tells me that she wanted to make it grow bigger.”
“My wife is a teacher. In her school each child is assigned an iPad for educational purposes. When the school year is over, the iPads have to be wiped and reset to factory settings. Of course this has to be done after school is over.
She was running behind getting her classroom prepped to be cleaned, and still needed to reset them to factory settings. She brought her iPad cart home with 22 iPads in them. She laid them all down on the office floor and made an assembly line. She got to the last one and left to do something else.
Came back and our daughter had played ‘the floor is lava’ on top of 16 of them. The screens were trashed. Some of them would power on but the touch screen function was gone. My wife had to call her principal and explain. She got a royal ass chewing for it, but lo and behold the next year they were planning on switching to Google Classroom instead… All new Chromebooks for the kids!”
“I was watching Netflix as I was doing the dishes. I had to poop. My three-year-old daughter drags a kitchen chair up to the sink, decides to help do the dishes while I’m on the toilet. Goodbye $1,200 laptop that is now soaked in about a gallon of water!”
“My middle child was barely a toddler when he ripped the legs off a pair of $300 sunglasses that my newly serious boyfriend (now spouse) had forgotten that he’d set in a case in the backseat of his truck, prior to giving it to me to drive while he was working out of town. Whoopsie. The kid found misplaced/forgotten case, opened it and proceeded to play with sunglasses until it broke.
My oldest child once fed lettuce to the DVD player. It’s not particularly expensive, but it was an amusing moment.”
“I was washing my van one day three years ago, and my two-year-old decided to help wash the other side… with rocks. Scratched right down to the primer.”
“My dad ordered a brand new, beautiful cherry wood kitchen table set. On the day it was delivered, my sister walked up to it and bit the wood. Parents still have the table, table still has little kid bite marks.”
“My grandpa was in the navy and when he took his youngest son (my uncle) onto a ship for a tour, my uncle wandered away for a little bit. They found him dropping Whoppers (the candy, not the burger) into whatever openings he could find. Supposedly, despite the crew working tirelessly to find them all, they’d still hear whoppers rolling around for years to come.”
“My neighbour worked in the diamond district of New York City. He’d given his wife a lot of diamond jewellery over the years. One day, she cleaned it all, and left it on a towel on the bathroom counter to dry. Their preschool-aged daughter decided to help mum wash her jewellery – in the toilet. All of it was flushed away.”
“My kid broke a 60 inch TV, a Samsung tablet, two Galaxy phones (s5 and s6), a refrigerator, my wife’s nose, and a toilet. This kid is taking up quite the tab.”
“When my son was three, he rubbed a whole stick of butter over the back of the cloth couch. I cleaned it, but it always had a large stain. 16 years later, I sent it with him when he got his first apartment.”
“I had just come home from receiving my special order astigmatism contacts – a year supply, probably worth around $800. My three-year-old flushed them all down the toilet.”
“My two-year-old destroyed a $1,000 TV. It was set up on a coffee table temporarily during football season. I went into another room and heard a loud crash. I came out to see the two-year-old on the coffee table and the TV on the floor. I asked him what happened and he said: ‘I push it, it go boom’.
He also had the habit of getting his hands on things he knew he shouldn’t have. Then when you ask for it back, he would run away. When you chase after him and get close, he would throw the item. Several phones were destroyed this way. I’m sure he has ruined over $2,000 worth of stuff.”