Parenthood is not always a bed of roses. In reality, it requires a ton of perseverance, understanding, compassion, patience, and above all, self-love. As it is common to feel insecure and worried throughout the tough parenting process, we’re here to provide some constructive pointers to get your confidence back on track! Repeat these affirmations on a daily basis for optimum results.
“The best gift I can give my children is my full attention.”
From listening to their quirky ideas, incessant questions to even their most mundane stories at school, your effort to understand and listen to your children is imperative to their development as it will nurture their creativity and self-expression in the long run. Ergo, forget about the latest gadgets and fanciful toys; your attention is more than enough. In addition, remember that material gifts are not a substitution for the intangible – love and attention. After all, a wholesome relationship with your child is not defined by what you buy them, but by the time you spend together.
“I’m the exact parent my child needs to grow; comparing myself to others only distracts me from being the parent I need to be.”
With the burgeoning of social media and technology, it has never been easier to trade stories about your kids and compare one’s parenting experiences with family, friends, colleagues or even strangers. However, before you start to question why your good friend seems to be handling their little ones fine and dandy, perhaps this is a timely reminder: every parenting experience is different. From a child’s personality traits to a family’s socioeconomic status, there are so many variables that make each parenting experience unique.
“Loving my children is more important than loving every moment of parenthood.”
In a similar vein, accept that your parenting experience will not come without obstacles. However, one seemingly ‘bad’ day of parenthood does not make you a bad parent; it makes you human. And as cliché as it may sound, it is true that your best is enough.
In fact, some of the “best” parents struggle; it shows that they care enough to learn from their mistakes and aspire to improve. Hence, as long as you’re willing to love, learn and grow alongside your child, the experience will be a mutually beneficial one and your bonds are certain to last a lifetime.
“My utmost priority is that my children are safe, supported and strong.”
Mental health awareness is on the rise these days, and with good reason. Although it is largely emphasised that good grades are important to get ahead in life, ensuring that your child is happy and healthy should triumph over academia.
There is no advantage to excelling in school if your child is under constant stress and unhappiness. Therefore, besides showering them with unconditional love, ensure that you’re creating a safe environment for your children to grow up in – one that embraces their individuality, encourages their creativity and provides a good support system.
“Self-care is a responsibility I need to model to my children.”
Just as the needs of your children matter greatly to you, so should your own. Give yourself a day off every once in a while to nurture your own needs and self-interests! Taking care of yourself should be a priority, as a healthy state of mind and thriving physical well-being enables you to be better equipped to take care of your children .
“I will overcome challenges so that my struggles today will become my strengths tomorrow.”
Without a doubt, there will be times where you start to ponder why you even embarked on this parenthood journey. But keep in mind that this is only one rough patch out of a fulfilling lifetime experience; one that will ultimately change your life for the better.
Every moment in parenthood, be it good or bad, will be a learning experience that will stick with you for life. In that fleeting moment of struggle, cherish the little things that kept you going in the first place; it could be the little things such as your little one’s excitement when you’re back from work, or the hugs of appreciation you receive for cooking their meals.