Being a parent is not easy, especially when you have a few children and they start to bicker with each other. It’s tiring to take care of them, let alone be the referee of continuous fighting, but how can you stop or prevent that? It’s important to show kids that they need to be responsible for every action, and that they are the ones who need to make an effort in maintaining a relationship with each other. Besides just saying a “sorry” that they do not mean, it’s also important that they know how to make meaningful apologies, and learn that they need to have empathy for each other.
We’ve all made visits to the “Naughty Corner” when we were kids, but did you know that it is also an effective solution to help stop fighting? Find an area in the house – it could be a corner, a room or even a step on your staircase, where you send your kids to when they fight. After a while, they will realize that they can solve their riffs themselves before they need to go to the “Fighting Corner”. These are typically the steps that you can take to help them work things out:
1. After you notice a serious conflict between the kids or if one child tells on the situation, ask them what is happening and if they need your help to work things out. If they are fighting rough and screaming really loudly, send them to the “Fighting Corner”.
2. They would have to remain there till they each tell you what they themselves did wrong. If they can’t figure it out by themselves, they can ask their siblings for help.
3. Once everyone has explained what happened exactly, they are supposed to take turns to make a sincere apology – stating what they did wrong, why it’s wrong, how they will behave in the future and ask for forgiveness from each other.
4. Ask them to hug it out.
The “Fighting Corner” isn’t exactly fun – kids will usually refrain from hanging out there. However, if they do fight often, you will probably find yourself sending them there often. After a few weeks, they will start to avoid it altogether and try to solve their disputes without going there at all. They would start to understand that fighting is not a solution and that they can handle their disagreements in an amiable way.
Using this system, the kids will learn to approach things in a more meaningful way, and treasure the relationship with their siblings instead of fighting with each other all the time. Instead of just telling them to stop fighting and say sorry to each other, this method helps them to grow and develop better interpersonal skills. Without a parent making the judgement, it lets them understand their own mistakes and genuinely learn how they should behave in such situations – they become in charge and they will understand that fighting hurts each other.
As a parent, it’s important to explain to them how to share and how to ask for something politely. If they do not listen to what you say, show them how it should be done. Also remind them to use kind voices and words to each other, and make sincere apologies when they need to. Let them know that they do not have to be the one to behave rudely if things still do not go their way when they have done everything that they are told to do. Communicating each thought and intention clearly to kids pushes them to learn more and therefore understand that getting agitated and violent is not the way to go.
What are your tips to stop your children from fighting? Share them with us in the comments below!