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Staying Lovers While Raising Kids

Photo credit: Jeremy Wong on Unsplash

Getting married is a big milestone in a couple’s journey, and having a family together is another. It is inevitable – the new experience of parenthood can take a toll on the once-loving relationship between husband and wife as the both of you shuffle around to manage a new family. It is easier to neglect your other half, putting your relationship on hold, whilst coping with a new family member and we often forget that our spouses are our lifetime companions too. At some point when the arguments get too heated, and the wounds scar too deep, many find themselves in a pool of struggle and wonder if their relationship is ever reparable.

The answer? Yes! Definitely. There are countless examples of parents who are still madly in love with each other even when their children come along. Parents are the structure that holds the family together, so their union is of greater importance than anything else. Here are a few tips to staying in love, and they may come off as “common sense” but really, sometimes we need reminders in order to remain sane.

Go On Dates

Take a walk down memory lane with your partner and date nights used to be everything the both of you looked forward to. Be it dressing up to look good for each other, or the excitement of having time alone together, there is something magical about date nights that bring two people together again. Set aside one night weekly (or if you cannot afford, biweekly) to go out with your other half. It could be a fancy dinner, a movie date, or just romantic things like walking along the beach, catching up on each other’s lives. Couple time is so precious, make it a priority.

Show Affection

Little ways like asking “How is your day?”, or a simple hug, a kiss, or just cuddling on the bed after a tiring day goes a long, long way. It is easy to take these acts of affection for granted, but it is never too late to start showing appreciation for your partner again. It is just like falling in love again with the person you promised a lifetime to.

Have A Little Conversation Everyday

It could be before bed, or in the morning before the both of you start busying yourselves with the chores of the day. A conversation, no matter how short, connects the both of you together. It is so easy to lose track of what’s happening in each other’s lives and this could make the both of you feel neglected. Make sure that when this conversation happens, undivided attention is given. Put your devices away, and listen with an open heart. Incorporate empathy, and be a good listener, and you will realise you feel closer mentally and emotionally.

Spoil Your Spouse

One favour you can do for your children is to spoil your other half. Strong marriages make strong families. It gives your children a sense of security and it teaches them the works of real love. Spoiling your spouse can come in the form of small gifts, acts of service, compliments and attention. It makes a great difference in maintaining a healthy and happy family by putting your spouse’s needs first.

Quit Competing

Quit the competing game of “who did more” and “who did less” because this leads to the blame game and that is a recipe for disaster. Instead, recognise the effort put in by both parties and keep the encouragement coming in. Remember, you are his/her biggest cheerleader, and certainly not rival. Complete each other, not compete with each other. Sharing your dreams and bucket lists do go very far too. Do not hesitate to rekindle the best friend of your romance.

Remember, maintaining a relationship takes effort on both ends – if you’re both willing to work on your relationship, you will naturally be able to pull through hard times together!

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