Parents who’ve had a miscarriage or infant death go through the same kind of grief that people who lost someone experience. It can be an extremely painful experience that they never would want to go through again.
But if they would be blessed with a newborn after a miscarriage, the term used for the newborn is a “rainbow baby.” The reason is simple: the new baby is like a rainbow that brings colours back to the parents’ life after a devastating loss. It is a symbol of hope and acceptance after going through such a dark moment.
Here are some other things you need to know about having a rainbow baby.
You might feel extra careful with your rainbow baby
It’s normal to feel like you’re going to lose this new child again and so getting pregnant again after a loss requires extra care from you and your doctor. You may feel more cautious of this pregnancy than before. Let your doctor carefully monitor you at this time.
Don’t feel guilty for not wanting to talk about it
Disclosing your pregnancy after losing a child may feel hard—and it’s alright. You don’t have to tell people about it or even tell them how you feel if you don’t want to. What you share about your pregnancy and to whom you share it is your decision alone.
You may have complicated feelings during this time
Losing a child and having a new one may trigger mixed feelings. You may feel at awe of your little one and at times, feel scared because you’d think you’d lose him or her too. You may feel excited and blessed holding your baby in your arms or sad for the child you lost. The key is to have strong emotional support system that will help you deal with grief and guilt while still being the parent your newborn deserves.
Your rainbow baby will get the love you wanted to give to the one you lost
While you may feel guilty about it, showering your rainbow baby with love doesn’t mean forgetting the one you lost. Honour your dead child by giving his or her sibling a well-deserved love. Your new child needs nurturing and all you have to do is to channel your grief by loving your baby more.
Maintain an open line of communication with your partner
Some might think mums grieve more than dads, when the fact is both of them lost a child and expecting a new one brings a slew of emotions to both of them. Hence, it is crucial than ever to maintain an open line of communication with your partner and be each other’s support system as you go through grief together and accept the blessing of life with your new child.